the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize