so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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