I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
