i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
