I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
