Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize