I am puke
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
