If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
