I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
