1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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