If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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