Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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