Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
