Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
