dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
