let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No subtext here. People are naked.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
