If i come over, it means nothing
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
as a side note pls kill me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
