Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
