When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize