You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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