two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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