Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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