Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
