You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize