i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
