sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
