I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
