If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
