You can't special order awesome
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
