No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
