But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
