i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
