dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize