He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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