oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
