I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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