her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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