i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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