Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
