first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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