so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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