I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
