Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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