Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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