i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
