Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
