I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
