The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
