Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drake has all the answers
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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