What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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