we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
