so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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