Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
