"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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