Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
