Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
