hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize